We all have parts of our body that we prefer to hide.
In my case – my stomach, bum, ears, arms and thighs for starters.
We can wear flattering clothes to portray our bodies in the best possible light, and we can grow our hair long enough to cover our sticky out ears.
Occasionally we get caught off guard. An ill-fitting pair of jeans, a top that shrunk in the wash, or a bad hair day all have the ability to reveal everything we didn’t want the world to see.
Then, we all have emotions that we try to conceal.
Envy, fear, shame, guilt, anger, irritation, vanity, impatience, self-pity or selfishness.
Most of us want to be seen as happy go-lucky, beacons of positivity, with never a bad word to say about anyone.
Which of course we are not, so occasionally we get caught out.
That is what happened to the female jogger we almost collided with after school last week. We had returned home after the school run, dropped off my son’s book bag and gone straight back out again to his swimming class. As we were turning the corner to where my car was parked, a jogger started heading towards us. We both had one of those ‘in what direction should we step aside’ moments but while I stepped one way, my son stepped the other.
This meant the jogger had to slow down to manoeuvre around him, which I am sure put her off her stride and was very annoying. However, what I did not expect was for this young woman to look him straight in the eye and shout ‘MOVE, THEN!’
TO A 5-YEAR OLD BOY.
She let her ugly out, in the middle of the street, surrounded by school children and shocked parents. Not least of all, me.
But, let you not think I am trying to paint myself as perfect here. My ‘ugly’ is a quick temper and I put on quite a show of it to the Greek God(zilla) a few weeks ago. He took something of mine and I flew totally off the handle. In hindsight, I might have over reacted. It may have been a certain time of the month. There’s a chance I might have also had one glass of wine too many over lunch.
But it wasn’t really about that. It was about feeling taken for granted and at the time, it was all the confirmation I needed to let my ugly out on him with both barrels.
But, ugly can present itself in more subtle ways too.
Perhaps your envy of a friend’s promotion stops you from congratulating them. Or, you take something personally that was intended as anything but.
We must have all at some time been on the receiving end of disapproval disguised as a well-meaning comment; over our fashion sense, parenting style, or work ethic.
Or, a snappy retort from someone struggling to contain their irritation of you. Sarcasm wrapped up as a joke. Criticism masquerading as a compliment.
Passive aggressive behaviour might be one of the most unsettling human traits of all.
It is a form of ugly that I do not care for. I can almost forgive the jogger for her outburst, as unnecessary as it was, because at least it was direct. There was no second guessing how she really felt about us getting in her way.
Sometimes your ugly gets the better of you.
Sometimes it gets the better of us all.
*****
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Completely agree – passive aggressive behaviour is very very ugly! I have a short fuse too and have to work very hard at walking away and not biting someones head off – and I hate it more than my fat ankles!
Author
Same! I always beat myself up more when I’ve lost my temper than I do over the size of my bum or my bingo wings.
I absolutely agree with you on this and I think we have more ‘ugly’ traits than we care to think. Mine pop out at an alarming rate and I am often quite surprised by them! Being a parent I am very conscious that they need to be controlled by as you say, sometimes they can come out in even worse ways. Thanks for the reminder 🙂
Author
We all have our ugly and sometimes I am in control of it… and sometimes it is in control of me! Trying to contain my temper though, hate it (and myself) when I lose it 🙂
I also have a quick temper and a sarcastic (sharp) tongue which doesn’t always work on the kids. And I always feel terrible when I say something sarcastic and they look at me in disbelief when they think I actually meant what I said. I wish I could change that about myself but on the other hand I always remind myself that it is healthier to get it out and move on than be one of those parents who plays mind games with their kids and gives them the silent treatment etc. Perhaps I’m just making excuses for myself though…
Author
Not at all, I am a big believer in better out than in! I’d never give Z the silent treatment, how cruel is that?! I think it is much healthier to have your say at the time and then move on. Lovely to hear from you, must have a marathon reading session on your blog soon. I think you are moving…? xxx
Hey. I totally have my ugly side. In fact it may even be multi-faceted. Quick to judge is my worst. Trying to be better 🙂
Btw I’ve been totally slack in following you of late. Loving your work Smudgerella. x
Author
Lovely to hear from you Bair! We can all be quick to judge, I have realised that when I do, I am usually wrong too. Usually… not always!
I like to think that I’m not judgy and that I don’t lose it, but I am and I do. Sitting here being all rational and relaxed I’m the best parent and wife in the world, but tired and in a rush and my ugly is way out there, making me anything but. Great post but I am still WHAT at the jogger!!! Also how gorgeous is your little one, how could she do that to that face?!? xx