In Your Face

In Your Face

I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday, not just to guide a face wipe over day-old mascara or while absent-mindedly brushing my hair, but I really looked at myself.

I examined my face from grey-roots to neck.  I pulled at my cheeks, lifted the skin around my eyes and turned my mouth up and down.

Who was this woman staring back at me, the one with the silver stripe along her crown and a forehead that wrinkled when she strained to take a closer look?

Her skin looks redder than I remember and when I stretch it this way and that, it takes a few seconds to fall back into place.  Both her eyebrows are flecked with grey and she appears to be growing a third… on her chin.  Her eyes look a bit bleary, probably because she had two glasses of wine the night before; and the dark circles beneath them are there because she never sleeps well after wine.

It is me, but not the me I remember.

The last time I looked, really looked, my skin seemed brighter, plumper and smoother. My hair was tamer, and although there was an occasional shimmer of silver in the wrong light, it was an otherwise enviable mane.  It was a face that did not mould into the pillow overnight and had never been tweezed below the eye.  It did not require expensive cleansers or tinted moisturisers to look healthy and if #selfies had been invented then, they’d be #nofilter.  It was a wonderfully adaptable face that I took for granted.

But, I like my new face much more.

It is the face of someone who has lived for over 40-years.  The lines around my eyes are from decades of laughing, and the creases in my cheeks have been kissed a thousand times.  This face has a family to love. It lights up in the company of friends and can break into a smile without really trying. It is the only face my son has ever known.

I am proud of every wrinkle, every fold and every groove.  If you traced your finger over them, they would tell you the story of my life.

It is a privilege to wear this face.

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Grenglish

Mum, wife, blogger, Greek dips lady.

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44 Comments

  1. May 18, 2015 / 7:14 PM

    Lovely. That smooth, young skin is no good to anyone 🙂

  2. May 18, 2015 / 7:39 PM

    I very often walk past a window or a mirror and catch sight of myself and think “that’s not what I look like”. I have an image in my head and it is not the same as the reflection looking back. I am not sure I am quite as at ease with her as you are xxx
    Donna @ Little Lilypad Co recently posted…My child has asthma : what do I do?My Profile

    • May 18, 2015 / 8:28 PM

      Ah you should be! You have earned every inch of your beautiful face x

  3. May 18, 2015 / 8:21 PM

    I LOVE THIS. Wonderful post. My hair seems to get less tame by the day and those greys, they keep on coming. The chin hairs I can live without though-am layering those blighters! You have a BEAUTIFUL face x
    Mum of One recently posted…Monday Parenting Pin It Party #105My Profile

    • May 18, 2015 / 8:29 PM

      Haha thank you lovely! The greys I admit to touching up every few weeks but the rest I am good with 🙂

    • May 23, 2015 / 8:17 AM

      And they will be kissed a thousand more!

  4. May 19, 2015 / 12:03 AM

    Amen to this!

    I’ve been noticing changes of late in my face – in my head I am still 24, but my face likes to keep me grounded.

    But of my eye bags get much worse I will actually scream 😉
    Mammasaurus recently posted…Visiting the Acropolis of LindosMy Profile

    • May 19, 2015 / 5:41 PM

      In my head, I am still in twenties too. I feel no different in that respect but looking at my face properly was interesting!

  5. Danielle Vedmore
    May 19, 2015 / 3:40 AM

    Lovely post! You look fab xoxo

    • May 19, 2015 / 5:42 PM

      Haha and thank you!

    • May 19, 2015 / 5:42 PM

      It’s so liberating!

  6. May 19, 2015 / 1:32 PM

    Ageing has never bothered me I am not high maintence in anyway although I do find that I have more red on my face than I’d prefer!
    Emma recently posted…Baby Annabell toy reviewMy Profile

    • May 19, 2015 / 5:43 PM

      Me too, I have rosacea too which doesn’t help!

    • May 19, 2015 / 5:43 PM

      How lovely of you to say! I like being 40 though, feel like I fit my skin now – inside and out!
      Grenglish recently posted…Five going on fifteenMy Profile

  7. May 19, 2015 / 4:02 PM

    So lovely to read words from someone who is clearly very comfortable in their own skin. Sadly, I usually look in the mirror and criticise my appearance. I’m not a huge fan of the lines but I’d better get used to them!

    • May 19, 2015 / 5:44 PM

      But you are so GORGEOUS!!!!

    • May 23, 2015 / 8:18 AM

      My MIL says the same and she is in her 70s!

  8. May 20, 2015 / 5:44 AM

    I am so scared to really look at myself. These days I don’t even put make up on so have no real reason to do so….but you are so right….and the way you put in words its just beautiful!
    Otilia recently posted…My little,my world…My Profile

    • May 20, 2015 / 6:17 PM

      You are beautiful and should never be scared!

  9. May 20, 2015 / 11:56 AM

    Awww, just lovely. I try not to look in the mirror 😉

    My ever so lovely daughter told me I looked like a Grandma this morning…
    Emma recently posted…More fun at Alice HoltMy Profile

    • May 20, 2015 / 6:17 PM

      Hahaha! In what way, I wonder…

  10. May 21, 2015 / 12:49 PM

    I am totally reading your posts in the wrong order today but that; that post is why you are such a great writer, in just a few short lines you have written something really beautiful.
    Nikki Thomas recently posted…The boy, his hair and my hairsprayMy Profile

    • May 23, 2015 / 8:18 AM

      Thank you so much lovely, really means a lot for you to say that x

  11. May 23, 2015 / 11:13 PM

    just popping over from ‘tots100: be inspired’ and am so glad I did. I am due to turn 40 next year and I admit it is a prospect I find daunting. I love this post and its sentiment that growing older is growing better. I will try to hold on to that when the big 4-o arrives!

    • June 16, 2015 / 3:57 PM

      Happy Birthday for next year! Turning 40 is nothing to worry about, it only gets better, I promise!

  12. May 26, 2015 / 5:33 PM

    Aw I love this post Sarah. I often look at myself and think good grief I am looking older. But you are a right. Every line and wrinkle, every eye bag even, just serves to tell a story. Such a brilliantly written post and congrats on being a BIBS finalist- totally deserved. x
    Katie @mummydaddyme recently posted…A Week in our Lives- May 2015My Profile

    • May 26, 2015 / 5:43 PM

      Thank you lovely! Congrats to you for Space in your case too. You have wrinkles??
      x

  13. June 1, 2015 / 12:32 PM

    I’m bookmarking this post to come back to every time I ever have a wobble about my own face. You’re so right – just as with our bodies, the lines and the “lived in” quality makes us who we are. Love this post Sarah. x
    Molly recently posted…What going to the beach with a baby is really likeMy Profile

    • June 16, 2015 / 4:00 PM

      We can all be so hard on ourselves at times. My body is what it is, I have accepted it will never again be the same as it was 20-years ago but I still miss my old skin/tummy/thighs!

    • June 16, 2015 / 4:01 PM

      You have not changed a bit since I have known you and still look early 40s to me! It’s how you wear your face that counts and yours is full of positivity and love x

    • June 16, 2015 / 4:01 PM

      Dinglish!!! I LOVE THIS.

  14. Pingback: Ugly – Grenglish

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