A Night On

A Night On

The Greek God(zilla) and I have never really subscribed to the idea of ‘date’ night.

Before having a child, we went out together all of the time.  I guess you could call them dates, although we never did.  We regularly went to the cinema, out for dinner, or to the pub.

It did not matter if it was a Monday night, or a Saturday afternoon.  If the mood took us and we fancied doing something, we just got up off the sofa and we did it.

Then we had a child together and continued to do all of the things we love to do.  Only not so much together.

The Greek God(zilla) still goes on his annual cricket tour and for the occasional pint after work.  I still hang out with friends, old and new; attend various blogging conferences, pop along to the WI, and have enjoyed a long child-free weekend in NYC, as well as a long lunch in Paris.

Most weekends we will host friends & family, or they may host us.  Our collective offspring will run around having fun, while the grown-ups exchange tales of parenting over Sunday roasts or summer barbecues, washed down with chilled glasses of Prosecco.

We still go out to the cinema but as a family, and the films we watch star talking cars, planes and animals.  If there is something we want to see that is classified higher than a U certificate, then we simply take it in turns to go with friends.

Our ‘dates’ have certainly got a little more crowded over the years.

A few times a year, someone will invite us to a party where it is not deemed appropriate to take a 4-year old boy, and then my parents will come over to babysit.  Usually overnight so we can go a bit crazy, and by that I mean stay out past 11pm.

On our birthdays and wedding anniversary, we will go out for dinner.  Somewhere nice where we can order 3-courses and drink red wine out of large bordeaux glasses.

However, these are probably the only occasions we are ever alone together on a night out.

We have been so sociable, that it took us until very recently to even realise that the last time we went out for dinner, a drink, or to see a film for no other reason than ‘just because’, was quite some time ago.

It’s not that we even have the excuse of not having a trustworthy babysitter.  I have a lovely local friend who is more than happy to swap babysitting hours with me.  I just forget to take her up on it.

It is also not the case that I no longer find my husband good company.  I am still interested in what he has to say and he still makes me laugh.  Most of the time, anyway.  Sometimes his jokes are just not funny, no matter how many times he repeats them.

And, we do still have a full and fun social life, it is just that it is mostly centered around our son.

I guess we haven’t really felt like we needed a night off.

But even just by thinking that, we are spectacularly missing the point.

It is not about having a night off.

It is about having a night out.

Enjoying life with the person we have vowed to spend the rest of it with.

Having his undivided attention, and him having mine.

Reminding each other what great company we are.

For me, an opportunity to change out of my baggy leggings and slap on some make-up.

For him, to come home from work and not have to pretend to dislike Eastenders, while asking questions about what is going on for the entire time it is on.

Having a conversation outside of the home that is not interrupted with questions from a 4-year old about various bodily functions and smells.

People watching.  Gossiping.  Laughing.  Flirting.

It’s not about having a night off at all, it’s about having a night on.


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  1. January 22, 2014 / 7:58 PM

    The best advice my Mum gave me was on my wedding day. She told me to always make sure we took time out together just the two of us. To never let our marriage fall by the wayside as parenting takes over. She’s right. We don’t go on “date nights” every week but we do make sure to go as often as we can even if it’s to Baskin Robbins for a quick ice cream. I think we give so much of ourselves as mothers that sometimes we can forget we are a wife too and the reason we got married is because that guy made us laugh, we loved talking to one another and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company and we need to continue to enjoy that relationship and cherish it. Even when they keep telling the same crappy jokes over and over again 😉

  2. January 23, 2014 / 7:50 AM

    That phrase, ‘night on’ is spot-on! And there’s always the ‘night in’ which is very popular in our house 🙂

  3. January 23, 2014 / 9:10 AM

    You are absolutely right. Mr B and I rarely get out alone together as we really don’t have local babysitters and our family are quite far away. I do miss our cinema nights. We will be off out for my birthday soon though so am really looking forward to that. I hope you guys get out and have some fun.

    I also now REFUSE to watch any soap in the company of my husband as he asks questions from start to finish…and then tells me it was rubbish. Grrr.

  4. January 23, 2014 / 9:35 AM

    Yep, a Night OUT is so important and something that we really don’t do enough of.. eek.

  5. January 23, 2014 / 10:20 AM

    We are having a night ON this weekend. It was really tough to take the time to go out just the two of us when our son was younger as we were just so tired but it is important to take the time.

  6. January 23, 2014 / 11:43 AM

    I love ‘having a night on.’ It is so easy to get lazy, but it really does bring a relationship down. Making an effort never seems like a good prospect in advance, but actually, once I get out there I remember why it’s worth it 🙂

  7. January 23, 2014 / 1:27 PM

    LOVE this. We’re big on date nights in this house. I got really annoyed last time I tweeted about it and someone commented “how can you call it a date – you’re married”! Err… YES – even MORE reason to have dates! So important to have time to yourselves, doing things you used to do BK – before kids. Sometimes it’s the last thing I feel like at the end of a long day, once the kids are in bed, but I’m always glad I put in the effort. Fab post x

  8. January 23, 2014 / 1:37 PM

    I couldn’t tell you the last time Mr Boo and I had the opportunity to go out together, I really like the idea of having a night on *note to self book babysitter*

  9. January 23, 2014 / 2:17 PM

    Oh yes. You are very right. Husband and I had a night off recently and it was great.

  10. January 23, 2014 / 2:27 PM

    tomorrow me and hubby are off to a murder mystery night..most thrills we will have had in ages. I havent been well but insisted we still go nights out for us are few and far between

  11. January 23, 2014 / 3:10 PM

    We hardly ever go out as we have no babysitters to rely on HOWEVER …. mum is coming down at the end of the month and I am booking up our local Michelin starred restaurant as it’s almost Valentines (and we never go out on that night – not wroth it) and it’s almost our 1st wedding anniversary too
    BIngo we have a night on coming soon

  12. January 23, 2014 / 4:22 PM

    Soooo true! We had a really crazy (and brilliant) social life pre-children, but it naturally slowed as people all started settling down. Now we have gone and killed it further by moving abroad, but at least 4 times a month we go out. One of the first things I made sure to find here was babysitters, and we have been lucky with them! 🙂

  13. January 23, 2014 / 6:16 PM

    After they come along, it can be so hard to get back to being a couple again, it can take years, well for me to has anyway, and to think what my life was like before then! X

  14. January 23, 2014 / 8:21 PM

    Everyone needs a night out every once in a while! It’s amazing how quickly you settle back into beign your old selves and forgetting your parents for an evening! Hope you get one soon xxx Lovely photo BTW 🙂 x

  15. January 23, 2014 / 10:58 PM

    I hope you have a wonderful night on! We have some of those at times and, yes, they’re such a great reminder of life before G…which is blissful in some ways (we’ve also had two long weekend away on out own, now, that is what you want! Proper lie in, late nights, tons of walking and exploring without having to carry a bag the size of a boat with you.)

  16. January 25, 2014 / 10:05 PM

    So true. We were given a book when we got married called “The 60 minute marriage” which can be read in 60 minutes and gives all sorts of (very valid) tips about married life and keeping the magic alive. One of the tips was to have a weekly date night, even if it is just a night at home with the TV off, some good food, and making a bit of an effort with each other. This summer we’ll be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary and I like to think that our date nights have helped to make our 11 years so much fun. Enjoy!

  17. January 31, 2014 / 4:35 PM

    Love this-date nights are so important and can be so hard when kids come along but even when I’m tired, I love getting dressed up and getting time just for the two of us for a few hours (even if we inevitable talk about the kids for a lot of it)…what I love most is how much my man makes me laugh! x

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