Health & Happiness, Life
comments 26

The Skinny on The Skinny

I  just cannot seem to stick to a diet.

I have tried ALL OF THEM and every single one I have cheated on and abandoned.

I am sorry 4-Hour Body, I really thought you might be the one but I just indulged in that damn obligatory binge day 6-days too often.

I have finally admitted to myself that it is not actually the diets that are fundamentally flawed, it is me.

I have realised that to really lose weight, all I have to do is eat less and move more.

But I like to eat, and I like to sit on the sofa under a blanket and watch Stella, and I love to drink red wine.  A lot.

I don’t want to stop doing any of that, but then I’ll always be fat.  You can understand my dilemna.

My relationship with food needs to change.  I need to form new habits.  I really need to stop stuffing my face so much.

In an attempt to understand where I might have been going wrong all this time, I recently started to examine the eating behaviours of skinny people, or more specifically, people who have recently lost a shed load of weight and look FAB-U-LOUS.

Not in a weird stalkery kind of way, just a subtle glance over a shoulder here and a quick peek over a shoulder there.

These are just a few of the observations I made (beware, some may shock you!):


Slim Jims do not have 2 slices of toast with lashings of real butter for breakfast or go back in for a third

They do not have a second breakfast, even if it is ‘just’ a cereal bar

They have the fruit platter

They take the stairs

They do not gaze longingly at the office vending machine

They do not spend £11 on lunch at M&S, with the intention of having just a little bit of each item but devouring it all in two sittings… spaced 20-mins apart

They snack on fruit, carrot and celery sticks, cucumber and the occassional oatcake

They do not snack on beef hula hoops and twirls

Carbs are a dirty word after 5pm

They pour ONE small glass of wine

When eating out, they order fish and salad.  Not a bacon cheeseburger with fries and onion rings

They drink lots of water

They do not eat cheese

A treat is a 2-finger kitkat, not a family sack of Minstrels

They take a slice of pizza, not the box

They do not finish everything on their plate

They have leftovers for lunch the next day

Biscuits are not dinner

They can be found browsing the popcorn aisle at the supermarket instead of the pick ‘n mix

Five roast potatoes do not count as 5-a-day

All you can eat buffets are a total waste of money

They do not talk about food all day

Soup is a main meal

Exercise is not just clicking the mouse to book the zumba class but actually going to it 3-times a week

They do not wait to weigh themselves until first thing in the morning, after stripping off to their undies and doing a wee

After a bad day, they do not cheer themselves up with cheesecake

After a good day, they do not treat themselves to cheesecake

If they are having a fat day, they do not console themselves with cheesecake

If they are having a thin day, they do not reward themselves with cheesecake

They are not entitled to claim Gift Aid on their Weightwatchers membership

They eat only when they feel hungry…

I know, weird right?!


Nominations are now open for the 2013 MAD Blog Awards.  I was thrilled to be a finalist in the 2012 awards for Best Family Fun Blog and would love to be there again this year.  Obviously, I’d be chuffed to bits to be nominated in any of the categories, but think I stand the best chance in Best Family Fun, Best Family Life or Most Entertaining Blog.  You can click here to nominate and will need my blog URL –




    • Happier than me when they pull up their skinny jeans, I bet!
      Thanks RM, are doing mine later today too (one of which you can count on from me too, obvs) xx

  1. I’ve never been “skinny”, but I am by now quite fit so most of these things in that list sort of apply to me. I guess when you like sport you view food as fuel and not as reward or punishment (for anyone who wants cake, carrot sticks sound like punishment, right?) The key for me has been to learn to listen to my body and to take care of it – eg. Sugar makes me bloated and grumpy so I’ve stopped eating it. For years in my 20s I was yo-yo-ing when it came to my weight and that is mentally so exhausting.

    PS. Fit people don’t weigh themselves at all, they measure their body fat %!
    PS. My last blog post is all about food.

    • Haha, will go and check yours out now!
      I am definitely more aware of what I am putting into my mouth when I am exercising… however, I seem to have fallen off the wagon a bit recently with the snow and everything. Although, and I never thought I would be one to say this, it looks like a beautiful day for a run today…

  2. Loved this! I’ve got baby weight to lose so recently started teh 5:2 diet and blogged about it-fasting days are not easy but I’ve lost half a stone in 2 weeks!

  3. …also adding my own plea at the bottom of non sponsored posts and noticed yours is missing www? Don’t think it matters but in case x

  4. Beth West says

    I like to think that’s just how little people with tiny stomachs eat.

  5. You’re on my Most Entertaining list. We are peas in a pod. But what’s the plan? Accept and get fatter? Or keep striving and stay just a little bit chubby? Me, that is. Not you – I could never call you chubby or I’ll never get one of those sausages! 😉

    • I can live with chubby! I think I just need to be good for MOST of the time but relax a little over the weekend… I have accepted that I will never be thin again… just need to find a place on the scales I am happy with xx

  6. Belfast Mummy says

    Absolutely love this post and so thrilled you have popped into my reader so often this month. The 5:2 diet would be perfect for me if I was child free, I don’t think the fast diet was designed with the temptations of leftovers from children’s tea in mind. x

    • Hahaha, I do that too! I am hearing a lot about the 5:2 diet and think I may look into it a bit more… has worked for Honest Mum above.

  7. Great post! I’m a few pounds heavier than I’d like to be so I’m watching my weight at the moment, it is astonishing (and depressing) at how quickly the calories can mount up. I also weigh myself first thing, no clothes, before breakfast and after going to the toilet!

    • Glad to hear we all do it! I need to start exercising again – did not have to watch how much I was putting in my mouth so much :-)

  8. I too have accepted that I will always be a little bit fat, but I’m even so lazy that I’ve never actually tried a diet.

  9. Why is cheesecake never the answer? Life’s so unfair. Great observations though. I hope the meal planning is working for you, I’m eating much more healthily since I started planning meals.

    • I will keep persevering with cheesecake, I am sure they have got that wrong! Meal planning is definitely working – we ate really healthily last week and saved loads of money from not buying things that looked nice that we never get round to eating before they turn…

  10. Great post and made me laugh, but not always entirely true! I’m skinny and I have a mountain of food for dinner and eat most of a bar of Green & Blacks every day. When I announced my intention to cut down the Choctaw because I’m worried the saturated fat content is bad for my health, my husband said ‘Be careful you don’t get too thin!’ Sorry. But I don’t have any boobs to speak of!

    • Ah, you must be one of the naturally slim ones then… I would like to bottle up your genes and sell them on the internet!
      Jealous much… 😉
      p.s. I do have the boobs, most of the time they just get in the way xx

  11. I couldn’t agree more about your non dieting attempts. I love, butter, wine, cake and food – as you get older – the simple sins in life are harder to give up! Hence endless days in pull on legging!

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