In our hallway, there is a glass bowl that was originally placed there for decorative purposes but has recently started being used to home sunglasses, Lego men, lipstick and keys.
Every morning before I leave the house, I delve into the bowl to retrieve my house keys and as soon as I walk back through the door, I drop them into the bowl again.
I do not keep my keys in my bag, my coat pocket, or on the kitchen table. They always go in the bowl, that’s just the way it is.
Other stuff sometimes finds it way into the bowl too, but only as a temporary resting place from the stairs to the place they really belong.
However, one morning earlier this week when I was about to leave for the school run, my keys were not where they were supposed to be. I searched behind the bowl, down the back of the chest the bowl sits on, and then emptied the contents of the bowl out on the hallway floor.
I found smarties, loose coins and a missing oyster card, but my keys were nowhere to be seen.
There was only one explanation – the Greek God(zilla) must have moved them.
I looked in all his usual spots – the bookshelf in the kitchen, his bedside table and next to the telly – but they all failed to deliver my keys.
I then looked in all his unusual, but not unheard of spots – the front door, under the duvet and on top of the loo – but these also proved fruitless.
Eventually, after much running up and down the hallway shouting WHERE ARE MY KEYS WHERE ARE MY KEYS, I called him at work.
‘I don’t know where they are’ he sighed. ‘I haven’t touched them.’
‘Oh, they are in my pocket…’ he said.
WHY ARE THEY IN YOUR POCKET? I CAN’T DO THE SCHOOL RUN WITHOUT MY KEYS!! HOW WILL I GET BACK INSIDE THE HOUSE? WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE AND WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY…
‘You must have put them there’ he replied.