I am not sure when my appreciation of a nice glass of red turned into a genuine love.
But somewhere along the way, I stopped drinking vodka on a night out and started ordering the red stuff by the bottle instead.
At first, I could not afford the fancy stuff and cheap red wine tastes better than cheap white wine… and gets me much less drunk.
I avoid all white wine now. I should not be allowed to even be in the same room as a glass of chilled Sauvignon, the potential risk of embarrassment being so high.
Then there’s the Morning After Fear, which lasts a whole year.
Fear of what I said, how I said it, and who I said it to.
Just the thought now of drinking white wine makes me cringe and want to peel off my own skin just so I can run away from myself and hide. Shudder.
I still can not talk about the night of the white wine/no carbs debacle in 2007. The Greek God(zilla) brings it up every now and then though and I still feel the need to apologise to him ALL.OVER.AGAIN.
Then there is the time I met the comedian Lee Evans at a party… nope, still can’t even bring myself to think about it, let alone type it out and that was over 15 years ago.
Even now, if I as much as see Lee’s face appear on TV, the memories come flooding back and I have to switch channels. I cannot bear to be reminded of him even now. Not that he did anything wrong, far from it. He was a jolly nice man and too nice to tell the drunk girl to piss off and go away.
So, I think it is fair to say that white wine and me are not a good mix.
We do not compliment each other; we do not go well together; in fact I do not think we even like each other.
It is not even that I spurt too much of the truth when I have been on the loopy juice, more that I tell outright LIES. Usually not unkind ones, but still LIES nonetheless.
White wine does not bring out the best in me and it makes me hate myself.
Red wine on the other hand, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
It has the ability to help me unwind after a long day at the office and cheer me up when life has taken a bit of an unexpected detour.
It is there for me when I have something to celebrate, and is there for me when I don’t.
Red wine is my friend. It makes me feel more sociable and it compliments my outfit. Red wine can be shared and appreciated.
I love red wine, it’s part of the gang.
So, I do not understand why just recently it has started to turn on me.
Just 2 glasses seems to cause offence these days, punishable with a pounding headache and 2-day craving for anything made out of potato or bread.
Pour me 3 glasses and I might as well write-off any sleep I had hoped for between the hours of 2.30-6.30am.
We have always had such a happy relationship, red wine and I. I thought we understood each other.
But I have had to take drastic action and enforce a weekday separation upon us.
Our reunion on Friday night is always welcome, but come Saturday morning we are no longer on speaking terms again.
Some Saturday nights, I have not even invited red wine onto the sofa to watch the X-Factor with me.
But it is ok as I have found something I love and crave more than 2 glasses of Barolo.
And red wine, I’ll see you again on steak night and special occassions.
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image: notonthehightstreet.com (We have the same print hanging in our kitchen!)