Whenever I’ve not been able to write in the past, it has been because there was something going on in my life that I could not or did not want to write about.

Some things are too trivial, others feel too huge.

Some are too private.  Others are not just my story to tell.

Many I worry are too self-indulgent, too judgmental, too superficial.

But there are times when my thoughts are filled with these things and writing about anything other than them seems impossible.

So, I end up in some kind of limbo, where I want to write something but just can’t seem to get started and end up watching Grey’s Anatomy instead.

Sometimes I’ll busy myself with anything other than the blank screen in front of me, and other times I’ll ignore everything else in favour of it.

Eventually it passes.

The thing that is holding me back will change course, or I find a way around it.

At the moment, I am in limbo again and I thought I did not know why.

But, I do.

It is because I thought I was on one road and I have since discovered it may be possible to embark on another.

There is a crossroads up ahead where I can turn around and continue as I was; or I can change direction and see where it takes me.

Where an entirely different future awaits.  One that a few years ago, I thought I wanted.

One that I am not sure I am ready to give up on entirely, but I am not ready to hop, skip and jump over to again either.

Most of me has moved on.

There is a saying that those who take the biggest risk get the biggest reward, but I wonder if sometimes the biggest reward can come from simply standing still.

Remaining steady on your feet and taking in the air around you.

I am happy here.

Sometimes saying no is not giving up at all, it is just letting go.


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  1. May 21, 2014 / 8:04 AM

    Sarah you gave me goosebumps!
    Good luck lovely, whatever you’ve decided. And I know you will be happy and a success – how could you not be, being you?

  2. May 21, 2014 / 9:01 AM

    yes goose pumps like Helen says. and so very familiar to me to. good luck with your choices. i am sure you will know what is the best thing to do

  3. May 21, 2014 / 9:12 AM

    I second the goosebump comment! What you describe is eerily close to how I’m feeling right now. I have a choice, and I could stand still as well. In fact, that’s what I want to do, but I think the difficulty lies in finding the courage to do so. In our society we’re so programmed to always strive for more, for better, for upwards and onwards. Staying still is seen as complacency, but sometimes, like you, I wonder whether being content with steadiness and security is the smartest thing to do. Good luck with your decision, whatever it is.

    • Grenglish
      May 23, 2014 / 3:52 PM

      and to you with yours…
      I agree, we are always told to take risks and reach for the stars, but there has to come a time when you get ‘there’ and know when it’s time to stop

  4. May 21, 2014 / 9:30 AM

    Such a powerful piece of writing. If you are happy then standing still isn’t a bad thing. Good luck with whatever it is and I hope that whatever you decide makes you happy

  5. May 21, 2014 / 11:01 AM

    I really believe that everything happens for a reason and everything works out for the best in the end… so whatever path you take, I am sure it will be the right one for you! Good luck, missus x

  6. May 21, 2014 / 11:03 AM

    i am a big believer in that fact that things happen for a reason and it sounds like you have to make a big decision. YOU and only YOU know deep inside what it best – ths is why you will make the right choice. good luck x x

  7. May 21, 2014 / 11:48 AM

    I know exactly what you mean. Knowing when to act on that moment and not is such a hard choice. Sounds to me like you have made the right decision.

  8. May 21, 2014 / 12:30 PM

    i think you already know sweetie you just need to say it out loud x

  9. May 21, 2014 / 12:51 PM

    Life’s too short for just settling for OK! Good luck with it, whatever it is! 🙂 x

  10. May 21, 2014 / 2:36 PM

    Good luck with whatever choices u make 🙂 xx

  11. May 21, 2014 / 4:53 PM

    Now you’ve got me so curious…. sounds like quite a big decision. What ever it is, you’ll do right by you and what’s best for you, you’ll make the right choice. X

  12. May 21, 2014 / 7:08 PM

    It sounds to me like this new direction is tempting you enough to make you want to take the plunge. Whatever it is, if it doesn’t work out at least you know you gave it a go. You have some wonderful and supportive people around you and they will stand by you whatever happens x

  13. May 21, 2014 / 8:43 PM

    umm are you writing about me, you could be! Lets compare notes at Britmums!

    • Grenglish
      May 23, 2014 / 5:38 PM

      Ooooh yes, let’s!

  14. May 21, 2014 / 8:51 PM

    I’ve had a few crossroad moments in my life and have taken my decision and for better or worse it always seems to work out ok.
    I think you have to sit very still and listen to your heart, then you will have your answer. best of luck to you

    Powerful post again, loved reading it, was gripped from start to finish

  15. May 22, 2014 / 2:04 AM

    Such a good post Sarah, and one that I think everyone will be able to recognise. Lots of love and luck to you making your decision – I know you’ll make the right one xxx

  16. May 22, 2014 / 6:33 AM

    Good luck in whatever road you take and feel blessed to have the choice. Whichever path you take, I’m sure it will have pros and cons because such is life. Good luck xx

  17. May 22, 2014 / 8:45 AM

    Sounds like a hard decision to make. I think sometimes it’s best to let events unfurl and they will show what happens.

  18. May 22, 2014 / 9:50 AM

    wishing you the best whicever way you go .x

  19. May 22, 2014 / 11:15 AM

    Just remember that not making a decision is a decision in itself, so whatever works for you will be good, and you can always change paths later on (take it from someone who has done this too many times to count!). And you are fab whatever you do! xx

  20. May 22, 2014 / 9:16 PM

    Indeed, saying no is no giving up. Good luck with your decisions Sarah, go with your heart. Mich x

    • Grenglish
      May 23, 2014 / 5:36 PM

      I will try, thanks Mich x

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