The Greek God(zilla) and I often joke about what we will call our autobiographies and this week mine was ‘Why Can’t I Do Anything Right?’, his was ‘I Don’t Give a Monkey’s…’ and Zachy’s is mostly always ‘Do It Again, Mummy/Daddy!’ or ‘NO!’
The Greek God(zilla) is blessed with a ‘don’t care what people think’ attitude, whereas I sometimes feel a bit cursed by ‘do care very very much actually’.
This leads to the occasional disagreement over how best to tackle those tricky situations where there is every chance you are going to piss someone right off.
For example, I once parked our car outside a neighbour’s house. Someone else had already nabbed the spot in front of my own, so I just drove slightly up the hill to the next available space.
I pulled in to a space big enough for two cars, unstrapped Zachy, perched him on one hip, loaded my free arm with a couple of shopping bags and locked the door behind me.
Just as I was about to walk off, our neighbour pulled up alongside my parked car and asked me to reverse back into the spot behind, so that he could park directly in front of his own house.
Now, the spot behind me was literally only 2 ft further away from his house than the one I was in. I was already out of the car, carrying a tired child in my arms, and had shopping bags dangling from each of my wrists. It did not make sense for me to load everything back into the car and strap Zachy back in to his car seat, just to reverse 2 ft back so this man did not have the inconvenience of walking two extra steps to his front door.
However, he would not let it go and I ended up bursting into tears and telling him that I would get my husband to come back out to move the car shortly. He tutted and zoomed off up the road to park somewhere else.
‘I can’t seem to do anything right today’ I mumbled to the Greek God(zilla) as soon as I was safely inside the house.
Since then, I have avoided parking anywhere near this man’s house. Sometimes, I will park a couple of streets away just to avoid another confrontation with him.
The Greek God(zilla) is made of stronger mettle though and will simply park as close to our house as is possible. If this happens to be outside our neighbour’s house, and our neighbour happens to have a problem with it, then so be it. The Greek God(zilla) would really just not give a monkey’s.
I should add here, that although I can sympathise with how annoying it is when you are unable to park outside your own home, the spaces are not allocated. Legally, anyone can park anywhere on our street.
Anyway, this post is not about that.
Imagine the chaos that ensues between a ‘Don’t care/Do care’ couple when faced with the serious issue of being 5-deep in a supermarket queue when another checkout opens and even though you are not the first in line, you are the first to see it.
Or, when your child walks off with another child’s toy/drink/snack.
Even when an important event is coming up and the dress code is vague.
After a long week in the office, where you have also been feeling a bit under the weather; completed 6 nursery drop-offs/pick ups in varying weather conditions; achieved 10 successful teeth brushing sessions; read The Cat in the Hat and The Cat in the Hat Comes Back cheerfully every night; and completely neglected your diet and your blog… when all you want to do it sit down on the sofa, fire up the laptop for 10-minutes before Eastenders starts and then someone, who has just returned from the pub, turns to you and says: “Oh, haven’t you unloaded the laundry/emptied the dishwasher/finished the ironing/made dinner?”
That’s when I tell him that I am changing the title of his autobiography to ‘Moving Back In With My Mother’.
At least we can laugh about it, I suppose.
What would you call your autobiography?
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