All posts tagged: thyroid antibodies

Anxiety, panic attacks and living with Hashimoto’s

For the past few weeks, I have been hiding a big autoimmune flare-up. I say hiding, because I when I have these flare-ups I tend to be much quieter – online and off. Every twinge, ache and feeling in my body is exaggerated. Every one of my senses feels heightened. I have become brilliant at hiding it, but I can’t be around too many people when I feel this way. I have Hashimoto’s – an autoimmune condition that attacks my thyroid. The antibodies that are responsible for this were discovered after my second miscarriage. I have been taming these antibodies with a gluten-free diet for 2-years, but every now and again they rear their ugly head and wreak havoc on my body. I could feel them coming towards the end of the Easter school holidays. I’d had a few late nights, drinking red wine with family and friends and eating way too much of the kids’ chocolate stash. I am usually so strict about never having gluten, but there were a few chocolate eggs that I …

Blogger’s Keynote at BritMums Live

Two years ago, I stood on the stage at Britmums Live and read out a post to 500 people about being hungover.  Ironically, I was secretly pregnant at the time and had not touched a drop of alcohol in about 7-weeks. I was a different person then. My blog was a little over a year old and I had written a lot of posts about sausages & wine. I had met a few other bloggers in person, but I had yet to be part of a community of bloggers I now call my friends. Great friends. I took things for granted. Like having a family, a job, my health, and my fertility. People too, probably. I was happy, but I was plodding along. This week, I will take to the same stage again and read a post to 700 people about what happened next. How in the weeks that followed, everything I knew about myself changed. How everything I thought I knew about my body changed too. How after a year of heartbreak and then another of not wanting to take anything for granted, ever …

We Need to Talk About the M-Word

Miscarriage. About one in four pregnancies will end this way and yet for something that is sadly so common, most people still know so very little about it. People who have experienced the hurt of a miscarriage feel uncomfortable and embarrassed even, to talk about it. I am not sure if this is because we are told it is taboo to announce a pregnancy before the magic 12-weeks, so feel any loss before then will not be accepted as real. Is a pregnancy in its first 3-months less wanted, less planned for, less loved? Does a woman who loses her baby at 11-weeks have less right to feel as devastated than one who miscarried at 13-weeks? Miscarriage is utter crap at whatever stage it happens. It does not feel like a heavy period – physically or emotionally. It is not something that you can get over with a cup of hot tea and a hug.  Although that is still nice, obviously. It is devastating. It is confusing. And, it is terrifying. It was not supposed …

Understanding Thyroid Antibodies

If I am being completely honest with myself, I had not been feeling quite right, for quite some time. I blamed being a working mum for my tiredness.  I blamed tiredness for my brain fog.  I blamed brain fog for my forgetfulness. I felt guilty for not being more capable.  I crammed our weekends with so much activity, so I would not feel tempted to lie flat on the sofa and leave my son to entertain himself. I really wanted to lie flat on the sofa and leave my son to entertain himself. But I didn’t. I kept going.  The more defeated my body felt, the more determined I was to push on through. I blogged about my how my tolerance to late nights had changed and how I needed more sleep than ever before, but was getting so much less of it. I visited the doctor for minor ailments – dry skin, a rash, mouth ulcers, chin acne, anxiety.  They said I was run down. I suffered two miscarriages.   Just unlucky, they reassured me. I …