Public Speaking: If you imagine the audience are all sitting on the loo, it will just make you want to go to the loo… again

Public Speaking: If you imagine the audience are all sitting on the loo, it will just make you want to go to the loo… again

Despite threatening to for most of Saturday afternoon, my stomach managed not to churn 3 slices of cake, 17 mugs of luke warm tea and regurgitate them all over the BritMums Live stage when my name was called out at the Blogger’s Keynote.

For this, I am mostly thankful to Kate (Witwitwoo), who coached me in the courtyard on how to slow down and breathe, then bagged us a sofa on which to attempt a horizontal zen like state.

We chatted, we laughed, and we watched a movie about a dolphin with a broken tail who learns to swim again.  At least, that’s what we think it was about.  The volume was muted and the picture was fuzzy and it was showing on two different screens about 30-mins out of sync, yet weirdly we still continued to watch…

I walked into the main conference room feeling calm, relaxed & confident. I took a seat near the front, turned back to look at the sea of people sitting behind me and felt instantly sick again.

Twelve outstanding bloggers had already stood up to read out their most inspiring, thought provoking and hilarious posts when my name was finally called.  The crowd had been moved to tears, laughter and in the case of the excellent Hayley Goleniowska, a standing ovation.

Then I took my place on the podium and read out my post about feeling hungover.

I did ok.  Not brilliant.  I managed to both start and finish my post.  I managed not to trip up the stairs.  I managed to keep the contents of my stomach firmly in tact.  I managed to breathe.

I forgot to look up from the piece of paper that I was clutching in my sweaty hands.  I was too scared of losing my place on the page to make eye contact with anyone in the front row.  I went too slow or maybe too fast, but it was over pretty quickly.

The relief consumed me… and then I desperately wanted to get back up there and do it all over again, only the way DorkyMum did!

You can also find me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter @smudgerella


  1. June 25, 2012 / 7:15 AM

    Bet you were fabulous-as Sarah said in her keynote, public speaking can be tough. Wish I’d stayed long enough to see you do your reading. Great meeting you. What a fab few days x

    • Grenglish
      June 26, 2012 / 1:42 PM

      Great to meet you too! Looking forward to the next time x

  2. June 25, 2012 / 11:33 AM

    Of course she was fabulous!!!!
    You were great, and I’m sure I wouldn’t have done it justice at all. I do have to confess though, to having a little crush on Dorky Mum 😉
    Well done!!!

    • June 25, 2012 / 2:54 PM

      *Raises eyebrows*

      A wee crush, eh?!

      *blows kisses*

      • Grenglish
        June 26, 2012 / 1:53 PM

        Haha you two, GET A ROOM!

    • Grenglish
      June 26, 2012 / 1:55 PM

      You are very lovely Steph, thank you x

  3. June 25, 2012 / 2:53 PM

    You were aces 🙂 I’m very envious of you meeting Sarah Brown, she always comes across as being very lovely. See you for more wine and chat at the MADS xxx

    • Grenglish
      June 26, 2012 / 1:57 PM

      She was super nice, really pleased I plucked up the courage to approach. Yes, looking forward to the MADs and having a proper catch up xx

  4. June 25, 2012 / 3:33 PM

    Hello *waves from the kitchen table* you were great. Don’t beat yourself up – you did do well – public speaking is so hard. It was great to meet you and Richmond Mum – helped to settle my words over the whole weekend. I really hope to meet you again some day soon!

    • Grenglish
      June 26, 2012 / 1:59 PM

      Hello *waves back*. I am so pleased we got to chat True Blood & Twilight! So good to meet you and look forward to many more tweet and blog chats soon x

  5. katie
    June 25, 2012 / 10:11 PM

    Hey.,how did your nomination go? X

    • Grenglish
      June 26, 2012 / 2:07 PM

      Didn’t win! But the person who did is FAB and really deserved it so I was happy to lose to her x

  6. June 26, 2012 / 12:41 PM

    Well done you for overcoming your nerves and doing it! I know it can be so terrifying… I studied German and Russian and uni and had to do lots of presentations in other languages and dreaded every single one. The upside of that is that now I don’t worry too much about speaking in English as it seems so much easier (hehe). But even so, I don’t think it matters how many times you speak in public, those nerves will still get you at some point. So simply standing up and doing it is something to be very proud of indeed x

    • Grenglish
      June 26, 2012 / 2:20 PM

      Thank you Amanda. I am proud that I did not chicken out at the last minute, although I definitely thought about it! It was nice to hear from Sarah Brown in her keynote about how nervous she gets too. Glad I am not the only one 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.