Leaving on a Jet Plane

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I’d been dreading this moment for a while now.

For months, I had rehearsed the conversation over and over in my mind.

I did not plan to leave it right up until my bag was almost packed, but I just couldn’t find the right time or the right words to tell him any earlier.

Deep down I knew that I was avoiding having the discussion, aware of the devastation it would bring.

I continued selfishly making plans that did not include him.  I had secret skype sessions while he slept peacefully in bed.

I even fantasized about all the things I would be able to do without him.

I started counting down the months, weeks and then days until we would be apart.

And, I did not feel guilty.

There was no remorse.

Just the excitement of something new.

Part of me even thought that he would be happy for me when he found out.

That he would understand.

That he would know this was something that I needed to do, for me.

There would be tears, of that there was no doubt. Then he would plead with me to stay, beg me not to go.

It would take all my strength not to stay.

I sat down next to him nervously, not sure where to begin.  I decided to try with the most simple approach.

“Mummy’s going to America on an aeroplane, Zachy”

I paused dramatically.

It means I won’t be here to put you to bed or take you to nursery for a couple of days, but Daddy will be here and I’ll be able to talk to you on the telephone every day.”

He continued playing with his cars, obviously giving me the silent treatment.  This was worse than I’d imagined.

I tried again.  “So, Zachy you see, I won’t be here.  Do you understand sweetheart?”

“Daddy will take me to the park, Mummy?”

“Yes, Daddy will take you to the park”

“Ok then!” he shrugged before turning back to what he was doing, completely satisfied with the response.  Not a flinch of emotion.  Not a hint of a tear.  Not one mention of me staying.


If I’d known it would be this easy, I’d have booked in a girls weekend away much sooner than this.

Poor little thing must obviously be in denial.

3 more sleeps to NYC.

When was the last time you got away from it all? Where did you go? 

You can also find me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter @smudgerella

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Photo credit: Steve Bridge @ Flickr



  1. May 15, 2012 / 6:45 AM

    Hehe, super post and moved me really as I remembered my first trip away and having to work away for a few days when O was 1. It’s so wonderful at 2 we can explain to the little monkeys isn’t it. You go and have a fabulous time (jealous, much)-can’t wait for your post NY post!!! xx

    • Grenglish
      May 25, 2012 / 11:02 AM

      It was not as hard as I thought it would be… does that make me sound like a terrible mother….;-)

  2. May 15, 2012 / 8:15 AM

    Sounds like your trip is going to be fab. I havent gotten away yet on my own – I mean away, away – the first time will be Britmums!

    • Grenglish
      May 25, 2012 / 10:56 AM

      Looking forward to meeting you at BritMums!!

  3. May 15, 2012 / 9:40 AM

    OMG. Am so jealous. NYC? Perleeze! Worked there for three months in my old life. Take an empty case for all that downtown shopping! Where you going? What you doing? Where you staying? Bigt hugs XXX

    • Grenglish
      May 25, 2012 / 10:56 AM

      Where did you work? I just about squeezed it all in the bag but wish I had done a bit more shopping… I wasn’t sure about a pair of chanel sunglasses so thought I’d have a think and go back but we ran out of time and now I can’t stop thinking about that, natch!

  4. May 15, 2012 / 12:08 PM

    How rude! I would have wanted, at minimum, tears, and possibly a minor tantrum in recognition of the devastating effect my absence would bring!!

    • Grenglish
      May 25, 2012 / 10:54 AM

      I know, right! Not one tear, not one complaint and all I could hear when I called from NYC was… laughing!!!!

  5. May 18, 2012 / 1:08 AM

    Hope you have a fab time in NYC. One of my favourite cities in the world. After London of course. And I’m sure Zachy will appreciate you when you get back 🙂

    • Grenglish
      May 25, 2012 / 10:48 AM

      One of my favourite cities too! Had so much fun, spent far too much money. Z not too bothered that I had been away at all! I was hoping for at least one tear… maybe 2… 😉

  6. May 18, 2012 / 8:10 AM

    Hihihi…parting with our babies proves to be more traumatic to us than to them :-). We’ll do the exercise ourselves on Sunday, we’ll have to leave her with yiayia and papou for a few days but I have already heard the okay from her too. mine bargained a big harder and we ended up promising a big girl bed for the new house :-). Enjoy your trip away!!

    • Grenglish
      May 25, 2012 / 10:47 AM

      Hi Oana – how was your trip? Did she miss you terribly? Did you miss her?
      Had fun in NYC. Z also had lots of fun with Daddy in London… although I did come back to find all his gorgeous long locks had been chopped off!

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