All posts tagged: happiness

In Your Face

I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday, not just to guide a face wipe over day-old mascara or while absent-mindedly brushing my hair, but I really looked at myself. I examined my face from grey-roots to neck.  I pulled at my cheeks, lifted the skin around my eyes and turned my mouth up and down. Who was this woman staring back at me, the one with the silver stripe along her crown and a forehead that wrinkled when she strained to take a closer look? Her skin looks redder than I remember and when I stretch it this way and that, it takes a few seconds to fall back into place.  Both her eyebrows are flecked with grey and she appears to be growing a third… on her chin.  Her eyes look a bit bleary, probably because she had two glasses of wine the night before; and the dark circles beneath them are there because she never sleeps well after wine. It is me, but not the me I remember. The last time I looked, really looked, my skin seemed brighter, …

Offline

I have been a bit quiet of late. On here, at home, in life. There is nothing wrong, not really.  Just sometimes, being around people, online and offline, can feel a bit exhausting. Recently, I’ve taken some time back for myself. I have been here before you see; but not understanding myself or my body well enough then was partly responsible for some of the more drastic decisions I have made in my life.  Feeling stifled in a job, a friendship, or a relationship is not really reason enough to up roots and escape to the other side of the world.  Although, I certainly do not regret that time, now that I am a married mother in my (early) forties, I thought I should learn to recognise the signs of impending social burnout and manage it like a grown-up. I think I come across as quite a sociable person and for the most part, I suppose that I am.  I do genuinely enjoy the company of family and friends, but I work very hard to appear as chatty and outgoing as people often perceive me to be, and I …