Growing Up

I had a bit of a wobble around the time I turned 30. 

I was single, living in Maida Vale and going out too much.

I remember feeling overwhelmed by life.  

I did not know who I was, nor who I wanted to be. 

I had completely lost my way.

I had taken a year out in Australia to ‘find myself’ a few years before and returned home saying ‘I choose life’.

Within a year, I had picked up my old life pretty much where I had left off.

Everything was tied up in my job.  Friendships, relationships, social life. 

I was right back where I had started.

So, I put the wine glass down and decided it was time to grow up.

I quit the job that was making me utterly miserable, moved out of the flat that I hated and I moved in with my sister. 

Within a few weeks, I met the Greek God(zilla) and together we embarked on the most grown-up journey of all. 

We became parents, got married and were soon to be the proud owners of a VW Golf and a 20-year joint mortgage.

As I hurtle towards the big 4-0, I have been thinking back to how I started this decade and how much has changed.

I have a job that is a job, which I work hard at and enjoy, but my whole life is not tied up in it and has never been. 

Weekends are no longer a time for sleeping in, watching E4 in bed and spending an hour straightening my hair; but are for family time, playdates, trips to the park and endless kids birthday parties.

The washing machine is always on.

I have Toy Story  stickers on my Mulberry handbag and in my hair.

I start to panic if I do not know where the big red Lightening McQueen car is at ALL times.

I feel totally exhausted most of the time.

But, I would not want it any other way.

It has taken almost a decade, but I am finally starting to feel like the grown-up person that stares back at me in the bathroom mirror.

It is surprisingly the most calm and peaceful place I have ever been.

*****

Image credit: the photo above was taken by a very talented photographer called Brock Elbank, who has only known me as a grown-up.  His wife, however, could tell you all sorts of stories…

You can follow me on Twitter @smudgerella, find me on Facebook,
and on Pinterest as Grenglish

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