I Talk Too Much

I Talk Too Much

Years and years and years ago, I was invited along to a fancy party hosted by a popular gossip magazine at the time. The party was held on a yacht on the Thames and was attended by celebs from the world of TV and comedy. I was invited along with a couple of my friends because we knew someone, who knew someone, who knew someone. The wine flowed freely all night, canapés were served and we all danced around our handbags. It was a fab night and at midnight the boat docked at Greenwich pier and we all disembarked.

At this point in the evening, what we should have done is make our merry way home. However, when you are in your early twenties with a belly full of wine, this is usually when the party is just getting started. So, a smaller group was formed to go on to the after-party.

It was here that I started talking to a man, who was at the height of his fame and possibly the nicest, friendliest chap in the world. We chatted for what seemed like hours and then he looked at his watch and said it was time for him to be on his way. We shook hands and bid farewell.

‘What a lovely man!’ I said to my friend later when we went for a tandem wee. ‘What a shame he had to leave so early’ (it was 3am).

She agreed, and we made our way over to the bar, where I spotted him again.

‘Ah, you decided to stay!’ I squealed as I plonked myself down on the stool next to him.

“Yes, yes I did’ he politely replied ‘but this time, I really must get going. It was lovely to meet you.’ And, he was off again.

I ordered another drink, made more new friends at the bar and then the DJ played my favourite song and we all shimmied over to the dance floor.

And, there he was again!

‘Hello!!!! You’re still here!’ I exclaimed loudly over the music.

As I bounded towards him for the third time, he turned his back on me and retreated swiftly out of the building.

The penny finally dropped and I have not stopped cringing about that night for twenty years.

I am reminded of it every time his faces pops up on TV, and every time I make the mistake of repeating the same thing again.  As much as I wish I could say I learnt from the experience and have never embarrassed myself in the same way since, there have sadly been many equally cringeworthy moments over the years.

For someone who hates to talk on the phone and is reasonably quiet on social media, I am actually quite chatty when you meet me face to face.

More than quite.

There are times when I just cannot stop talking. Especially if I am with someone I like, then I almost never run out of things to say. This is not so much of a problem when I am with someone who loves idle chit-chat as much as I do *waves at Eva*, but there have been times when I have literally talked at or over someone I don’t particularly know very well.

If I have had even a sniff of wine then I don’t even notice when their eyes start to glaze over but are too polite to tell me to SHUT THE FUCK UP.

It is like I have years worth of things stored up to talk to this person about and I can’t get them out quickly enough. I am not sure if it is because I come from a big family where if you don’t talk fast and efficiently, you don’t get heard; or if it’s just a really bad habit that I’ve never been able to get fully under control.

I am now so completely paranoid about it that I sometimes return from the school run and have to replay a conversation I had in the playground just to reassure myself that I allowed the other person to get a word in.

Did I speak over them? Do they think I am all ME ME ME? Why can’t I stop the verbal diarrhoea?

If I have been out drinking the night before and wake up with THE FEAR (everyone knows about THE FEAR, right?) then it will most likely be over what I said, and how many times I said it.

Sometimes, if I am recovering from a big bout of THE FEAR then I might say nothing at all, terrified from appearing over-familiar, which makes people think I am either rude, aloof or dismissive when really, it is quite the opposite.

Mostly it is harmless. Annoying, maybe… but it always comes from a good place of being genuinely interested and excited to talk to someone.

Either that or… *shuts up*



  1. October 24, 2015 / 9:44 PM

    THIS! Sometimes I think it comes from not spending enough time with other people, I over compensate. The older I get the more I have to say…. I’ve several decades of annedotes! Imagine!! Sometimes, I think just shut up! Let them have their moment without adding your 2ps worth! It makes me increasingly paranoid! Especially, with new people. Familiar people they are used to me or the same. It works. See look at the length of this bloody comment. Oh god!!!!!!!

    • Grenglish
      October 25, 2015 / 5:57 AM

      I have definitely noticed it happening more and more the older I get too! Much easier with people I know as they know me and think it is funny! I love hearing your anecdotes, please don’t ever change. Have never thought you talk too much.

  2. October 24, 2015 / 9:56 PM

    oh this is me, except for the famous people bit as I’m not that connected. But oh oh I love this post. It is me! I wish I bumped into you more frequently as I love chatting to you when I do.

    • Grenglish
      October 25, 2015 / 5:58 AM

      I love chatting to you too! Did we actually take a breath when I saw you last week?! We covered a lot of topics in actually quite a short time!

  3. October 24, 2015 / 10:06 PM

    Oh love I hear you … I do the same I just get so excited!!!!

    • Grenglish
      October 25, 2015 / 5:59 AM

      It is definitely an over excited thing!! Maybe this is why us talkers are all drawn to each together 🙂

  4. Almost_bedtime
    October 25, 2015 / 12:02 AM

    Oh I love you! And I can’t wait to meet you and you can talk my ears off and I’ll talk yours off and we can both be totally Paranoid about how much we talked and we can analyze our first conversation over and over again the next day together. Sound like a plan?

    • Grenglish
      October 25, 2015 / 5:59 AM

      Yes please!!! That sounds like a FAB plan x

  5. October 25, 2015 / 10:17 AM

    *raises hand* Yep, another over-talker here. Over-shared, too. Thing is, I just LOVE talking and communicating with people. Perhaps we’re all meant for a career in radio?!

  6. October 25, 2015 / 5:45 PM

    Oh goodness this is me, I talk for England and then the next day get the fear that I talked : too much /about stupid things / about insensitive things / about vajajas.

    The shame. Every time.

    Love the new look btw 🙂 x

  7. October 26, 2015 / 6:20 AM

    Ahh Sarah! This just made me do the biggest smile. Partly because the celeb story is so funny (is it just me who is dying to know who it was?). Partly because this is exactly the kind of thing I used to do at celeb-filled parties (apologies to Lulu for that night in 2001) and partly because your chat is one of the reasons I love spending time with you. But that fear the day after the night before is awful and I’m the same – replaying fuzzy conversations trying to work out if I talked too much or said the wrong thing. Eek!

  8. October 26, 2015 / 9:16 AM

    Maybe you should just keep talking. Some of us are just hard wired to be chatty. Maybe the problem is others. Okay, so drinking and talking may need different rules but personally I am fed up with the ‘lets all bash the extrovert’ media. I am an extremely verbal vicars wife/mum/teacher. So sue me ; ) keep chatting x

  9. October 26, 2015 / 5:56 PM

    What a fab story – it’s given me a jolly good giggle even as I was cringing on your behalf! Dying to know who the celeb was now.

    I love chatty people. I love it when people BARE THEIR SOULS right there in the coffee shop. It always leaves me feeling tremendously flattered – like I’m the sort of person that people can’t help but confide in.

  10. October 28, 2015 / 9:26 PM

    Oh yes I get this – and again think it is because I don’t see people. Or I have the opposite and people try to talk to me and I just go completely blank and do not know what to say at all!

  11. November 3, 2015 / 9:46 AM

    hahahaha. This. is. ME. minus the alcohol!!! (at least you can shift some of the blame onto the booze, what’s my excuse for my verbal diarrhoea?!) Anyhoo, I for one, look forward to the next talking-too-much sesh 🙂 xx

  12. November 4, 2015 / 11:49 AM

    Hmmmm, I think you and I might be kindred spirits on this one. Oh The Fear, my goodness The Fear. I get this ALL the time and yes, it’s usually that I’ve talked at people all evening, that I’ve said too much, that I’ve talked over people. I’m worse when I’ve had a wine and now try to get my husband (if I’m with him) to give me a nod. I just don’t like silence and always have something to fill it with!

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