The Football Table

The Football Table

I really enjoy the run-up to Christmas. For us, the festive fun starts on 10th December – the Greek God(zilla)’s birthday – when we traditionally choose our tree and hold our annual Christmas party. However, this year we decided to have a low-key affair and had a quiet one at our local instead. As I did not have a party for 40 people to cater for and host, I had much more time on my hands to get organised for Christmas and bar one item, had finished most of the shopping early *insert smug face here*.

I always say that the moment you start to feel even slightly smug about yourself, the universe will reward you with you a big cosmic punch in the face… and I was about to be proved right!

Our 7-year old had requested a football table from Father Christmas. One of those big clumpy things with little red and blue men on poles that no doubt would have to stay in the middle of our living room forever as there is no space for it anywhere else. Anyway, as he really REALLY wanted it and it was cheaper than the other thing that he also really REALLY wanted – an Xbox, which I think he is still a bit young for – I did some research and found a few football tables that can fold away when they are not being used. I sent the links to the Greek God(zilla) to select the best one and order it because, let’s face it, what little I know about table football I learnt from Joey & Chandler on Friends.

Anyway he cut it a bit fine, but did eventually order a table and it was delivered 3-days before Christmas.

To the wrong address! Fortunately, not to a complete stranger and the table was signed for by his confused mum, who lives about 40-mins away.

After a deep sigh, I started to get ready to drive over and pick it up, but the Greek God(zilla) was adamant that I would not be able to lift it into our car alone. However, the next time we were due to be at his parents house was with the whole family on Christmas Eve and I really did not want to have to explain to our son why Father Christmas delivers presents by Amazon Prime and not reindeer. So, we asked Yiayia to cover it with a blanket and with a bit of strategic iPad distraction on Christmas Eve, I carried the table stealthily out to the car ON MY OWN. It was a bit cumbersome, but worth it to keep the magic alive for one more year!

Later that evening, after setting out a mince-pie and a glass of milk for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph, I tucked an excited small boy into bed and settled down in front of Love Actually to finish the last of the wrapping while the Greek God(zilla) assembled the table football. Well, that was the plan anyway.

He pulled all the pieces out of the box, the nuts and bolts, the legs, the poles and the little blue and red men, looked at them and back to me and said “you’re going to have to help me out, love”.

So that is how I ended up spending Christmas Eve – everything organised, wrapped and packed – yet still putting a football table together at the eleventh hour, while the Greek God(zilla) handed parts to me with one hand, swigged a whisky with the other and chuckled away to Love Actually.

In the interest of full disclosure, once the table had been assembled and my eyes had started blinking for 20-seconds at a time, the Greek God(zilla) did sit up until 2am putting the little blue and red men onto poles “for me”.



  1. December 30, 2016 / 5:15 PM

    well i never guess what ronnie got for christmas? i KNOW spooky x x

    • Grenglish
      December 30, 2016 / 6:17 PM

      Haha! Great minds and all that… Hope your elves were a bit more hands on than ours 🙂 xx

  2. January 3, 2017 / 5:27 AM

    Ah “for you” is a great one isn’t it! What a brilliant gift though, hope he has many happy hours playing with it, and you had a brilliant Christmas. x

    • Grenglish
      January 22, 2017 / 10:05 AM

      It really is! He unloads the dishwasher ‘for me’ too!!! Happy new year to you lovely xx

  3. Kate
    March 7, 2017 / 11:50 AM

    Yep, I would give the same thing
    Good present 🙂

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