Death by Chocolate
It all started with chocolate cake.
At the time, such a small and insignificant decision but no-one was to know the chain of events that were to follow.
We had invited Yiayia and Uncle George over for Sunday lunch. I was going to roast a chicken, the Greek God(zilla) was going to talk politics with Uncle George, and Yiayia was going to enjoy spending quality time with Zachy.
Flicking through the Primrose Bakery cookbook on Saturday afternoon, I stopped at the recipe for flour-less chocolate cake, checked the list of ingredients against what we had already in the cupboards and had whipped one up less than an hour later.
Leaving the cake to one side to cool, I took Zachy upstairs to bed and started the usual bedtime routine. Half an hour later, I wandered back into the kitchen to release the cake from its tin and hide it in a place where the Greek God(zilla) would not discover and devour it.
What I did not expect to see when I wandered back into the kitchen was a mouse, as bold as brass, climbing the cupboards and scurrying across the worktop towards my cake!
I let out a loud scream, which shocked myself almost as much as it did the mouse, who quickly darted behind the toaster. The Greek God(zilla) came rushing in to see if it was time to eat the cake yet. Zachy called down to demand one more verse of Twinkle Twinkle, and the mouse made a run for it and started abseiling down the kitchen cupboards before eventually disappearing underneath the washing machine.
“I’ll set a trap” said the Greek God(zilla) and then went off to google how to set a trap.
After a few minutes, I found him loading chocolate cake crumbs over a few traps and hiding them behind various floorboards and white goods.
Meanwhile, I covered the cake, put it out of reach of mouse and husband, and the next day Yiayia and Uncle George came over for lunch, ate roast chicken, talked politics and played with Zachy. It was a wonderful day and the cake was delicious, everyone agreed!
I was on my way home from work yesterday when the phone rang.
It had been a long day and I was tired and ready for an early night.
A quick glance at the phone told me it was home calling.
“HOW FAR AWAY ARE YOU? THE WASHING MACHINE HAS FLOODED! THERE IS 2 INCHES OF WATER ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR AND ZACHY HAS STRIPPED OFF AND IS SWIMMING IN IT. I NEED YOU TO COME HOME NOW!!”
It later transpired that when the Greek God(zilla) had pulled the washing machine out to set a trap for the mouse, he had unknowingly pulled out one of the pipes. When he had put a load of laundry on (I KNOW!!) the water just poured out all over the floor. Whoops.
It was an accident, these things happen, I told him. I was being nice because he had attempted to do the washing unprompted by me.
“No love, this is all your fault” he said. “This only happened because you made chocolate cake.”
Luckily, I had already destroyed every last crumb of evidence.
In one sitting.
What kind of things do you get the blame for in your house?