All posts filed under: Health & Happiness

Anxiety, panic attacks and living with Hashimoto’s

For the past few weeks, I have been hiding a big autoimmune flare-up. I say hiding, because I when I have these flare-ups I tend to be much quieter – online and off. Every twinge, ache and feeling in my body is exaggerated. Every one of my senses feels heightened. I have become brilliant at hiding it, but I can’t be around too many people when I feel this way. I have Hashimoto’s – an autoimmune condition that attacks my thyroid. The antibodies that are responsible for this were discovered after my second miscarriage. I have been taming these antibodies with a gluten-free diet for 2-years, but every now and again they rear their ugly head and wreak havoc on my body. I could feel them coming towards the end of the Easter school holidays. I’d had a few late nights, drinking red wine with family and friends and eating way too much of the kids’ chocolate stash. I am usually so strict about never having gluten, but there were a few chocolate eggs that I …

The Guilt Trap

Guilt. It’s a funny thing. It gets under your skin and makes you do all kinds of crazy shit. As a parent, guilt keeps many of us awake at night with its persistent nagging over how much TV you let your kids watch, if you read to them enough, play with them enough, or mollycoddle them too much. As a full-time working mum, I hid behind a cloak of guilt that grew heavier with every ball I dropped. It would niggle away at me saying DO MORE, BE BETTER, GO HOME AND MAKE SOCK PUPPETS WITH YOUR CHILD. It is what kept me up until midnight finishing the housework, and what set my alarm for 6am to get a quick shower in before the rest of the house awoke. It made me strive to be more organised and helped me to feel more in control. Guilt pushed me to live up to my own expectations of myself, and I was addicted to it. I got my fix every time I had to work late at the …

Losing Weight with Slimming World

You may remember last year, at my 40-year old health check, I was advised to lose weight and exercise more. Although, after years of yo-yo dieting on every fad diet to ever hit the book shelves, I did not hold out much hope for long-term success.  The nurse handed me a leaflet for Slimming World, and after an initial flurry of excitement over the unlimited carbs paragraph, I stuffed it into my pocket and went away to think about it. For about 5-months. During this time, I continued my pattern of avoiding carbs from Monday-Thursday, and then devouring them in the form of Roast Chicken & Thyme flavoured crisps every Friday night. Over the summer, I gained a few more pounds.  Many of which had Prosecco written all over them. But, when the new school year started, something switched inside me and I knew I was ready. Now, if you are not familiar with the Slimming World format, you will be forgiven for arriving at your first meeting and thinking ‘WTF?!’  After the initial new members presentation where the consultant takes you through the …

The Sickie Myth

The Greek God(zilla) returned home from a recent overseas work trip with a stinking cold.  At first, I assumed ‘stinking cold’ was man code for ‘don’t ask me to do anything’, but when he passed my ‘fancy a beer?’ test, I passed a sympathetic tissue. The stinking cold turned into the flu, which then progressed into a throat infection and totally wiped him out for a week.  So, armed with a carrier bag full of meds, he took himself off to bed with strict instructions from his doctor to stay there until he felt totally recovered.  ‘Totally’ being 8-days later. The only problem is, two days into his illness, I came down with it too. In an ideal world, I would have also taken myself back to bed with lemsip and Netflix; but when you are a work from home mum in the mornings, stay at home mum in the afternoons, and CEO of the shopping/cooking/laundry ALL of the time, who exactly do you call in sick to? The 5-year old boy who wakes you at 5am for a cuddle does not care that you have …

No More Babies?

After my first miscarriage, I thought the only thing that would heal me would be to fall pregnant again. Then, I did fall pregnant again. But, the memory of miscarriage did not disappear. If anything, it only magnified. After my second miscarriage, I thought the only thing that would heal me would be to NOT fall pregnant again. We did not rule out the possibility of having a bigger family, but I needed some time to let my body recover. It was a relief to press pause on the monthly cycle of trying to get pregnant, the two-week wait to find out if we passed the pee-on-a-stick test. The heavy heart when we did not, the excitement when we did; and the dread that followed when I remembered that my last pregnancy miscarried and there was a 60% chance that this one would too. I enjoyed the freedom of not trying, not knowing, not caring. Weeks turned into months, months turned into a year, a year turned into almost two, and at some point along …